i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
