I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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