At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
