what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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