Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
