i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
