Who did Billy Mays play for?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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