when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
