would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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