dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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