Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
