a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
