Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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