just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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