butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
