i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We're too hungover to prance.
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