Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
