just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
