Screwed.edu
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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