guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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