i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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