where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
