I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize