Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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