My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize