dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
