Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
