I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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