i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
