She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
