I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
