She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
