she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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