What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
