You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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