There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
