My pussy is not your playground.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
