I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Rumble strips road head = magical
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
