She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Even my vagina gasped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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