Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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