even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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