mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
