No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
