It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize