Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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