So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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