fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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