you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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