Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
