I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
