I accidentally had phone sex last night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
