Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
