Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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