The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
