Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
