This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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