Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
