if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Randomize
