we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
