Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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