She is in my trunk
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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