He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
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That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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