how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will pee on everything he values.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
