someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we're making bets on your personal life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize