you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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