pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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