she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
